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Step 2, IVF Transfer...
We went in for our transfer on July 27th, 2017. Which meant our five day old frozen little egg was finally coming home with us. I remember a huge cloud of worry hitting me that morning, frozen cycles or FETs were the only kind our RE does which was fine with me. The defrost process can come with risks though, some eggs don't make it through and we just kept wishing for our little egg to be strong and fight hard. Some REs will do a fresh transfer, this is when they put the egg back in you after the egg retrieval. They fertilize it and grow it outside for 5 days before transferring it back. Which means no genetic sceening. Honestly, I was so so thankful for the break. My body desperately needed it, it needed to have a period and reset itself before started up all the meds again. Plus we had reassurance knowing out three little embryos were genetically healthy and had a better shot of making it to a live birth without abnormalities. Yes, that extra testing costs a lot of money but at this point you are already in so deep we barely cared. Anything that heightened our success rate we were all in.
The procedure itself was quick and mostly painless, it was such a weird experience. There we were in a cold laboratory room with our doctor and our embryologist. First we chatted with our embryologist, she explained which embryo they choose and why. Each embryo goes through a grading process which basically rates them, in addition to that some have better shape or have started hatching. That part of the process we left in their hands. They knew better, we didn't want to play god even more than we already would so we let them pick the one they thought was best. With IVF you do have the option to know and select the gender but we had agreed from the start we didn't want that responsibility and so that is why we let the experts pick the best embryo regardless of gender.
I had been doing acupuncture from the start of our journey back in January, so for the 30 minutes prior to the transfer my amazing acupuncturist gave me treatment to relax all my muscles and better prepare my body for the transfer. I highly recommend this, it calmed my nerves so much. Even if you have been dying to get pregnant for years, knowing you are moments away from conception is super trippy. Going into to calm and relaxed made the whole experience so much easier! Once the 30 minutes was up, our RE came in and inserted the catheter like tube into my uterus, we literally got to see his place the embryo in the catheter into my uterine wall on the ultrasound machine. The moment of conception, it was a crazy visual and a feeling I can't really put into words. I mean who gets to see their embryo baby transferred into their uterus, science is nuts!
Immediately following the procedure I had another 30 minutes of acupuncture and then away we went. In an instant our world had changed, our little embryo was safe and sound back inside my body. I smiled the whole drive home.
Here is his first photo and the photo we took when we got back to the house. A morning I will never forget.
grateful. The five days that followed were pretty good, Chris took the time off work which was so incredibly helpful seeing as how I wasn't allowed to get out of bed. They tell you to stay in bed on total bedrest for the first 3 days not even to take a shower. Then another 4 days of bed to couch or bathroom but thats' it. So having visitors plus Chris and mom as my nurses was a must. It was so boring because physically you feel fine, you just have to remember that your body is a little incubator at this point and you need to do it to help that baby stick. Chris was such an amazing nurse and I couldn’t have done it without him. Having to stay in bed for a whole week, when physically you don't feel much different was a lot harder than it sounds. My mom was amazing because she would go grocery shopping and cook for us, seriously a priceless gift. My sister spent the whole first day home with me waiting on me and keep me company which was also so amazing. Plus, every single one of my girl friends took turns spending different days with me. Like how did I get so lucky with my amazing girl tribe? Plus they brought gifts, check out theses awesome socks? My friends were my everything that week, for a bunch of girls who don't even have kids and have no idea what infertility is like they really showed up in the best way and I will forever be grateful.
Physically I felt ok, I tried not to over analyze minor aches or cramps. My lower back was constantly in pain from all the shots and from laying and sitting. Oh, I should mention, prior to the transfer you start prepping your body with more pills and shots. Mostly, progesterone and estrogen. Since your body didn't create this baby naturally it isn't producing those hormones like it usually would so you have to supplement. ( I will chat more about that in another post) Anyways, not being able to add any heat like a shower or bath or heating pad was definitely tough. Nights were a little rough since my body wasn't that tired and my heart seemed to be pounding, could be nerves, adrenaline, hormones but most likely all of the above. Days moved slowly, it was just another countdown. You would think at this point we would have become accustomed to them but this part felt so different.
I kept talking to our little egg, telling it to keep hatching, to keep growing and reminding them that they were safe with mama now. I was eating all the right foods, drinking lots of water, resting, everything I could possibly do to keep this little babe with me. The fear, doubt and worry still crept in, how could they not? Two years of negatives and disappointment, it’s hard to visualize anything else but that didn't stop me from trying. I knew our little babe was out there, I knew we would be pregnant and we would have a baby. My heart and soul hoped that it was this one.
I keep telling myself to trust the tide, to put faith in the universe that my baby and I would stay and grow together. To believe in the power of creation within my body and that would be a vessel in which to bring this baby into being. I knew we could handle anything, we had strength and support in that regard. We trusted our doctors and the medicine in my body. None of that takes away all of the worry or our impatience for that Sunday appointment to come. That day would be a life changer either way, I just hoped for a happy phone call. One where we would finally them say “we have good news, your levels are great, you are pregnant.” Then we could cry happy tears and feel like we were the luckiest people in the world. Until then we waited. Tried to inhale peace and exhale stress, tried to practice self care and kindness. Because that’s the only thing we could do.
To be continued...